sigh.

i know i have to keep looking forward.

but i can't help but keep thinking why i didn't do a good paper on monday. as in. REALLY bad. i didn't expect the MCQs to be like this.. and after a while, my brain just wanted to switch off.

and the more i revise for the coming thursday paper on the same subject, i just.. don't seem to be able to get past the fact that i might have screwed up that paper. yes it's only 25%. from a 100 question MCQ paper. but really. i don't see how i can maintain my results for this semester. it's so demoralising and even though there are others who feel the same, i really doubt they made the same mistakes as i.

interview this morning was okay. it was a case of a person who presents with shortness of breath, but had a history of smoking (which i didn't get to ask all the details about how it has gotten bad) and stresses in life. i just comforted myself with the fact that i characterised the presenting complaint, got her concerns (that it might be lung cancer)... but i can't believe that in 9 mins i didn't get stuff like she has been smoking more.

then i just blame it on the actress who gives differing stories and tells different students different stuff. sigh.

i motivate myself enough. i know i don't want to be depressed when the results are released. but i just can't see how else i can improve the end result even though i keep on studying.

guess being hardworking isn't the key to everything. but i really need to maintain my results. resolve to be even more consistent next sem.