to pack.

my thoughts.
my emotions.

so just as the new year beckons, i can't help but feel a bit excited. excited about the changes that will be taking place, hoping to make more friends, and keeping those close to me even closer. misunderstandings galore this year, what with my personal life in a total mess, not to mention, my work being affected as well, and the energy i exude, oh, what energy is there to talk about.

so as i realise that i have to learn to walk away when i have to, and just a simple analogy; seeing a dress that i like, but knowing that even though it's not that fitting... but price wise a bit on the higher end. and i yearn to buy it. and i cannot make up my mind. the dress haunts my mind. and after walking around and around the store, i finally walk away. but i could have done that much earlier on. i just need that resolve.

and even though i know what i have to do, it's getting harder and harder to carry it out. maybe i really want to know that somehow, admist all these, it's still there. but knowing makes no difference to the situation, other than making me feel a little better about what needs to be done. yet i do not dare to hope that things will go my way as expectations bring about disappointment.

and so instead of changing something that i cannot change, i have decided to kickstart the changes that i want to see. first up i have been to ikea twice. this month. and i have decided to bring in new furniture for my room! and i've started to re arrange my wardrobe and i believe that is a good change. whee!

yet with all the changes, nothing can take away the memories that i hold so close to my heart. and to ask me to take them away, to extinguish everything, will be a genocide which i will not want to do.