malice. spite.

it's been 4 months.

and i've let myself be hurt time and time again. thinking that it is alright, that i still want to be friends with him.

how did a loving person turn out to be so spiteful? that every single you do or say in front of friends is to put a slash across my heart? that each time we somehow end up having some time together you become another person?

and i woke up today, after having my patience and respect tested yesterday, feeling extremely down. the tears flowed again, and this time, it's for myself. for the disappointment is felt by me, and the rejoice, on your side. the things that i must set myself out to do, is something i thought i would not have to do again. something you promised that should not happen. but your spite, i cannot tolerate anymore. Anyone sane enough to know what's been happening knows that.

and your spite. such malice. i'm disappointed, i'm disgusted. and i'm feeling the anger, nothing malicious. unlike you. you know very well what hurts me the most, and you do it. then come round and say sorry? do you know what you're apologising for?

i have no more well wishes for you. for you do not deserve them. because i have never experienced such spite from anyone else before.

and until your spite is gone, you will not speak to me again.