Changes...

i've been unsure of whether what i'm doing is the right thing to do. yet if it will make things clearer instead of being in the blur, set the right boundaries, and respecting each other's space, it will have a great outcome. Sometimes i feel that studying medicine has made me focused on the outcome rather than the progress. for i was once a person concerned about the progress... the progression of practising a piece, of learning a song, yet now, i'm so focused on the outcome.

and now, i'm running away from the progress of things. in a way... that i may grow stronger as a person without this friendship at a close proximity. sometimes, after a while, nothing u do seem to hurt me anymore, yet with each time i tell you to stay away for now, i seem to hurt you a bit more and more. and for that, i'm inevitably saddened because what has happened has led me to such a decision, and u, being pushed away. sometimes i wonder whether you will reflect and change ...

yet words said cannot be taken back, and what i wanted to hear, you did not say... only meant it. i await for the day that we can smile into each other's eyes again... with that friendship blazing strong.

but for now, i wish to stay away, for the heart that is chronically hurt will fibrose and harden... and i wish not to harden my heart. for whatever that has been said these 2 weeks have been the manifestation of the accumulation of the hurt that i've put up with... and i finally took the advice of all our friends... even your closest friends... for no one knew why i put up with the hurt last time.. cos i do not deserve to be hurt this way.

so just hang in there, and do what you need to do... but do not be reckless with my emotions ever again if you really still mean well... and really treasure me as you said it, as your bosom buddy. hopefully, in one year's time, all will be good.

but we should not set such time limits yea?

meanwhile, for all med geeks out there.. this is interesting :)