when things go wrong... part two

my index finger hurts.

anyway, had my exam this afternoon. ok, my eleventh piano exam. started okay-ly... with a slow prelude and fugue. which i think the examiners thought that i played it too romantically cos during the viva voce they asked whether i felt that baroque pieces should be played in this way -- romantically-- or according to the way they were written for.

then the much feared beethoven sonata... how i always never seem to play properly, my fingers are retarded. so i slipped. forgot to turn the page.. was plain nervous. dunno why just couldn't calm down.

chopin i was worried that i'll blank out. was worried bout poulenc too. i was worried that my memory will give up. which i tried really hard not to. and i bit my lips as i continued despite the glaring mistakes... and tried to look as if i was enjoying performing.

never had i felt so lousy after an exam before. but it's over? sight-reading and the dreaded viva voce was actually fine.i could answer their questions with ease... some after thinking... and basically, i did show them that i understood what i was doing... somehow i just want to say "sorry for the bad performnace just now." but apparently i can't. so i left the room feeling really lousy. but happy that i did the sight reading justice.. and the history too.

basically.. i am sad cos i under-performed. shall wait, and live with this mistake.

oh man. i screw up my last piano exam. maybe it's not the last anymore.

so i came out of the room, called up my piano teacher, and relate the whole incident to her. she's nice... telling me not to think so much... and wait for the results! :) ah well. at least the examiners were nice people... friendly enough.

wanted to have steamboat buffet at chongqing, but my sis was complaining that it's not worth it for her... so end up having crystal jade xiao long bao. i want the fried man2 tou2. *drools*

k.. shall sleep on it. wake up tmr. for more work.