december is here already! the last month of the year 2004................

ok i don't want to start reflecting...

great day today.... went PGP to look for evelyn with elaine and weiliat and we had a great lunch at genki ahaha... yummy! then after that i went home and left the house with my parents to watch the swingle singers' concert! :)

i seriously do admire them... and it will be so wonderful to be able to perform on stage, as an acappella group.

oh, how i miss singing in a small group. i miss the days when i was in tkgs and singing with Versatility. :)

hehs. well, i was just thinking about admiration. How often young people confuse admiration with liking or even loving someone. well, it's like, when u keep thinking about someone whom you have watched performed or have worked with... and this person is amazingly talented at what he/she does... and you find yourself gushing over his/her capabilities. i think that's the first sign that u admire them for what they can do.

Then sometimes you try to take things a step further, by asking them questions, being caring, and you might find yourself wanting to see them so often.... and u find yourself wanting to know a lot more about them, and wanting them to care about you the same way as you care about them too... and you want them to know what you want too...... but still, you are scared to face rejection. and so you try very hard to understand them, and you keep talking/chatting to them... and you find yourself, (in this era), sms-ing them pretty often.

and there's always this "BUT".

BUT he/she doesn't realise....... but that's fine.. cos if you finally realise that it's just pure admiration, then the friendship can still remain, intact.

BUT IF he/she realises, and, finds you irritating, and you realise that he/she is "ossifying".. every question is met with a curt reply, and they don't feel like seeing you even though you feel like you really do..... then i guess it's time to take a step back and see whether things will work out.

and it's always sad when you realise that, well, things aren't going anywhere, and maybe you should just stop wasting your precious time and effort on someone whom you admire, and he/she doesn't admire you in the same way.

oh that's so sad.