needing balance

been thinking a bit.

flared up just now. maybe it was the kids. but it shouldn't be.

went down to ngee ann today. yes i'm happy that they're happy to see me. but i just do not like it how they do not show respect to the music.. nor to the conductor infront. they do not understand the meaning of choral music. i was trying very hard to keep my temper down. there was this itch to discipline. but i have to realise, that i have no reason to anymore. the most i did was to shut this silly boy up because he was talking when they were just starting to sing. i mean. wth. show some respect please.

having to take the bus with them up to kl?

tired. not knowing what to do.

being busy... having to teach, pack stuff... organise stuff... not really going out a lot. when duty beckons, you cannot overlook it.

i actually double-booked myself. but fortunately it wasn't that hard a decision which one to turn down. both are jobs. one u get paid, one u don't. and i turned down the one that i get paid for. but decision was made according to the fact that i have to go to the one that i don't get paid.

i think i am actually tired. i actually sleep about 10 hours each day. is it because i am lazy?
i need rest. i need leisure. or do i not? because when i have all the time i want, all i want is to be busy. and when i am busy, i seek slow pace.

when will i ever find the balance?