not knowing...

i realised long ago, that i have a bad temper. but this temper of mine dissolves really soon after if you let me fume and frown and ponder for a while.

with any problem i face, i have great difficulty solving it. especially if it concerns delicate matters. but with family, i flare up more, and the less able i am to solve it. I choose to let things cool down first before anything else can be done. But i know that my friend doesn't. He solves them at that moment, and not letting the problem linger or drag on. and i'm finding it hard to do that. It's so hard to say something that will solve the problem immediately. do i lack the courage? the courage to break away the barrier that has been formed unknowingly?

i do not like quarrels. In fact, i really hate them. But they say a bit of quarreling is good for the emotions involved. but i'm never good at it. i probably lack the reasoning skills to bring my point across, or lack the heart to inevitably hurt the person involved. so much so that i rather take the blame for everything or keep quiet and let it pass. For i do not hold grudges. and in time, I will forgive and forget. a bit silly i must say.

tired tired.