lives and two cities

told a few friends about a friend giving birth! :) look at this! a one day old baby. how cute and carefree and blissfully sleeping. :) how come babies come out crying? why is that the first emotion we know of?anyways, as june looms, the idea of the longest holiday ever before clinicals sounds enticing. as i continue to wonder what to do to celebrate the end of my year long research, where to go.. and whether going home is an option, i really don't know.

it's almost a ritual... holidays and going home. it's my 4th year here. in any other course i would be looking forward to my last year here. (or would i? Haha) but it's my 4th year. and yes i do (hopefully) end up with one degree at the end of this semester... but what makes me think twice about jumping at the chance to go home straight?

1. saving money
2. not wanting to re-adapt to everything- going back to sg will be a huge holiday, literally sit around and do nothing but in the comfort of everything else. but where will my friends be? will they be travelling?
   
3. having work here
4. choir...
5. if i want to be calculative then.. it's my 3rd last winter here hahaha
6. jo's still here
   

what about benefits of going home?

1. to see parents, to be pampered like a kid even though i'm already 23 :)
   
2. comfort of sg
3. getting out of melbourne

suppose to be planning a trip out of melbourne during july before clinicals with yingyi (like my last chance to go holiday with her!! ahh!) and both our aims are to get out of melbourne.

i think the underlying desire is that i want a short break. an affordable one. something that would not compromise a lot on my other committments in melbourne. at least that's what i sought after at the beginning of this year.. to just commit to things for a year, go back end of the year, do my attachments in sg hospital and then come back for the more grueling time of med school.

i've never liked sitting around doing nothing. i like it that i have stuff to do here. and i still pretty much like the space i have here, yet with this thought, i can't help but chide that i'm being selfish. that i want to have time in melbourne alone... that my love for sg doesnt supercede that selfish desire though it plants a huge guilt conscience in me.

yup. shall stop rambling.